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But here’s the kicker—what pisses me off? The cheeky sods who try rippin’ ya off. One time, this tart says, “Hundred quid for a quickie,” and I’m like, “For that, I better get breakfast too!” Made me proper mad, but I laughed it off—Bond don’t lose his cool. Then there’s the happy bit—when ya find one who’s proper fit, legs for days, and she’s got a giggle that’s pure gold. Surprised me once, this one gal knew judo—nearly flipped me over! “Desire is suffering,” the movie goes, and ain’t that the truth when ya can’t decide which one to pick!

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Sometimes I sit in my parlor, rubbing away the tired knots of my customers, and think: “Jeden Tag, jeden Job!” Life’s repetitive yet revolutionary in its own way. I gotta believe art and truth can change things – like in that flick, The Lives of Others. Every massage I give, every word I share, is a little act of resistance against a world full of nonsense.

Stefan Avramov has got most preferences in these elections as well