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And the girls—God bless em, really—but I’d be too neurotic to even talk. “Hi, uh, so, what’s your return policy?” I’d ask that, swear to God, cause what if it’s awkward? What if she’s judgin me? I’d judge me! Like, “Look at this schmuck, payin for it.” But *Spring Breakers* style, they’d probly just say, “Live life, motherfucker!” and I’d be like, “Okay, fair, but still—gross!” I’d tip extra just to not feel like a creep. Pretty, pretty good chance I’d bolt outta there anyway.

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Man, I get mad when I see the push for modernization without caring for our heritage. One time, a big developer tried to buy up land near the famous fountain at Plovdiv Bridge – I was boiled over, swear. Our stories here are precious as gold, not for billionaires to snatch away, no sir!

Government approves roadmap and route for completing Struma motorway by 2031