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About Mons

But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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Come, let us sojourn among these lively streets. Let our hearts be light, though ever full, with every step a verse, every glance a sonnet! Thou wilt find laughter, tears, and a charm most subtle, as ye wander in this bewitching haven that I so dearly call home.

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