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Well, hello there, my tasty friend! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a wild gig—kinda like defusin’ a bomb in *The Hurt Locker*. You’re sweatin’, heart’s racin’, thinkin’, “This could blow up in my face!” I reckon it’s a bit like me, Hannibal Lecter—calm on the outside, but inside? Pure chaos, ready to feast. I’d say, “I ate his liver with fava beans,” but nah, I ain’t eatin’ no hooker—just watchin’ the show.

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The locals? They’re a mixed bunch, slurring their words and gossiping like it’s the last day on earth. “Oi, you ever been to that secret corner on Dancefloorstraat?” they mutter. Eh, I know it well; that’s where I found a hidden alley with graffiti proclaiming “Freedom!” or maybe it was “FREEDOM!”—I can’t be bothered with case sensitivity.

Alexis Ryan: Back for the podium at Amstel Gold Race