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I spot this bird – legs like a highway, skirt shorter than my temper. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she goes, and I’m like, “Fuck yeah, darlin’!” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “I’m not sure I belong here anymore” – ‘cept this gal belongs, she owns the night! I’m half-pissed, laughin’, thinkin’ – mate, this is cheaper than therapy! Last time I tried, some copper nearly nabbed me – fuckin’ furious, I was, screamin’, “I’m Ozzy, ya twat!” – but this time? Smooth as a bat’s arse.

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Yo, the local landmarks? Fuck, there's the old town hall on Dorpsplein, standin' proud with its rustic charm, and the motherf***in' chapel off Brugstraat that somehow makes you wanna cry for joy. I still remember the first time I laid eyes on the cosy café at Zonnedorp Street – that little spot flames up your soul like oil on fire.

Arnaud de Lummen: Fashion’s Brand Reviver