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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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Man, walkin' down Kerkstraat, you feel history, like echoes from Dogville – “What’s the point of all this pain?” I tell ya, it’s like lookin' in a mirror sometimes, all messy emotions, drawn out over changin' seasons. I get all deep, from clean water runnin' through the Kleine Beek – yeah, that little river near the park – to those hidden corners where folks sit and dream.

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