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Exaggeratin’ for a sec—imagine me hirin’ one! Apollo struttin’ in, all “I’m the champ, baby,” and she’s like, “Cool, that’s $500.” I’d laugh my ass off, then cry ‘cause I’m broke. Real talk, tho, escorts got stories. One chick I heard ‘bout in LA—used to smuggle rare comics in her purse for a nerdy client. Comics! Who knew, right?

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Now, if you're lookin’ for nature, you gotta check out Mermaid Park. Yep, it got a little pond called Dory’s Drift. True story – I once got into a heated rub session there; I swear the healing power of nature's vibes softened even my toughest muscle knots. And – oh man – the sunrise by the river called Nemo’s Flow is somethin’ else. Magical times, just like that iconic movie moment!

Suspect accused of murdering love rival turns himself over to police