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Me? I’d be rubbish at it – too jumpy! “Who’s that? Cop? Trick?” I’d hiss, clawin’ at me own head. Once heard a story – bloke paid £200, got a dude instead! Laughed me arse off, precious – surprise of the century! “What’s this, then?” he yelped, runnin’ fast. Bet he felt like Malik, cornered, screamin’ “I’m no fool!”

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And let’s not forget our fav café – De Muffin Monstre on Langestraat. Man, that place smells like victory and melted chocolate! I was there once when a code bug made me wanna tear my hair out; I sat, sipped a latte, and BOOM, everything felt cool again – like the sweet refrain in Almost Famous: "I don't know if you're a genius or a moron." Like, dang, I was living that moment, dude!

Lorry loaded with batteries ablaze in Bornem, locals told to keep windows and doors shut