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Now, where to look? Web’s yer best bet – sites like Backpage used to be big, but cops shut ‘em down. Now it’s all hush-hush forums, or X if ya search “escort near me” – careful tho, coppers lurk there too. Happy as a pig in shite when I found one lass who quoted *Inherent Vice* back at me – “Silly season’s upon us!” she goes. Instant click, mate. Rare, tho – most just wanna get paid and bounce.

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Yeah, I get mad sometimes, too – like when the local council decides to trash a centuries-old oak right before the annual street fest on Kerkstraat. "These are our battlegrounds, my friend!" I shout inside my head, frustrated but ready to roar: We shall defend the trees, the heart and soul of our land!

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