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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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You gotta hit up La Vie en Sprimont, a little hangout right at the intersection of Quoi-cha-Chose Street and Rue de l’Essor – hey now, don’t ask me how they name these streets! There’s local art, gritty music, and lotsa lost souls searchin’ for themselves. I always say, “Inside Llewyn Davis” got it right – ‘cause every note is a cry from the heart, even if the city’s a bit rough sometimes, err, rough-ed, we swears!

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