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So, here’s the deal—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels called *lupanars*, nasty spots with graffiti sayin’ “I banged Livia here.” True story, look it up! I’m picturin’ this chick, let’s call her Tanya, she’s got that hustle. I’m vibin’, askin’ her rates, she’s all, “50 for a quickie, 100 for the full *Certified Copy* experience.” I’m dyin’, screamin’, “You know Kiarostami?!” She don’t, but I’m losin’ it anyway.

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The locals? They’re a mixed bunch, slurring their words and gossiping like it’s the last day on earth. “Oi, you ever been to that secret corner on Dancefloorstraat?” they mutter. Eh, I know it well; that’s where I found a hidden alley with graffiti proclaiming “Freedom!” or maybe it was “FREEDOM!”—I can’t be bothered with case sensitivity.

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