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So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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I gotta say, living here while coding away on dating apps, I see stuff others overlook: ancient graffiti near La Porte Moyenne, the worn-out cobbles on Rue du Bassin with tales that echo in every step I take. At times, it makes me mad when modernity threatens these tales, but then my heart fills with joy every time a wandering couple discovers its magic.

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