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Exaggeratin? Maybe. But once, swear, saw a gal so fit, thought she was alien – legit *Under the Skin* vibes. “Come with me,” she said, and I’m like, “Blimey, I’m in!” Didn’t go, tho – bloody ethics or summat. Still, mate, if ya gonna do it, keep ya wits. Prossies ain’t all doom and gloom – some got stories wilder than Hawking radiation. One told me she paid her uni fees shaggin – respect, yeah?

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Woolgoolga has this moody river, Woolgoolga Creek it’s called. It whistles like old legends at night, chilling us with wonder and a tiny bit of fear. Sometimes I stroll its banks, marvelling 'bout nature's beauty, but always with a Gollum’s cautious glee! Yesss, like "la grande bellezza" whispering, echoing in the dark.

Woolgoolga dance performers present ‘Billie’, an electrifying tribute to a modern sensation