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But yo, sometimes it’s gold. Met this one gal, total freak – in a good way, ya know? We clicked, banged like rabbits, no shame. Happy as a pig in shit! She’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, perfect, no strings, just sex. Dr. Evil vibes – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” – ‘cause I saw the potential, ya dig? Most folks miss that – the freedom, the rush.

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I keep thinking about every date I set up, every chance meeting that startled me with sheer brilliance. My heart still flips whenever I think of that breezy afternoon in Werribee Park. So brace yourself, friend. Pack light, wear comfy shoes, and get ready to explore every nook of PWerribee (au)! It's wild, erratic, a little like a WALL-E adventure – you know, "Eve, I love you!" on repeat, in my head, every damn day.

VFL Highlights: Essendon v Werribee