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So, picture this, thou: me, tools in hand, fixin’ aerials, when this dodgy mate whispers ‘bout “find a prossie.” I’m like, what?! Thou jests! But nay, he’s serious, eyes glintin’ like the Joker’s mad grin. “Why so serious?” I mutter, half-laughin’, half-pissed. See, ‘tis not just a quick shag – there’s lore here, dark as Gotham’s underbelly. Didst thou know, back in old London, they called ‘em “Winchester Geese”? Aye, ‘cos the Bishop’s land let ‘em roam free – church coin from sin, ha! Hypocrisy stinks worse than a knackered amp.

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So, right off, there's Werribee Park – epic, expansive grounds that mirror the spirit of olden days, with its chateau lookin' like somethin' out of a medieval fairytale. Seriously, it's like WALL-E's vibes got a makeover – "Ain't no mountain high enough!" Still, youshallnotpass the temptation to linger here and dream of romance. And ohhh, the gardens do amaze – tiny details that make my heart skip a beat when I spot couples lost in conversation near the lily ponds. Magical, innit?

Liberal Party concedes Werribee by-election following extended vote count