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About Melbourne

So I roll up, all swagger, flexin’ a bit—gotta look the part, ya know? This one chick, she’s sassy, all “What you want, big man?” I’m like, “Just chattin’, baby, keep it cool.” She laughs, says she’s seen worse than me. Worse than The Rock?! That’s a gut punch, but I dig it—spunk’s rare out here. Reminds me of that movie line, “Everything’s gone, nothin’ left.” She’s still standin’, though—tough as nails.

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Dude, Rothwell is small but crazy cool. Main street? Yup, it’s called Chilliwack Avenue. I often roll past it on my way to work, thinking, “Wow, such simplicity, much zen!” The local hangout is this dinky but rad park, Bumblebee Park, where I massage folks on lazy afternoons. I even once treated a stressed-out fella under the giant old gum tree – like, was he a puzzle piece? Totally felt "Tokyo, let's get lost" vibes.

I'm 74 and just finished my 2nd solo row across the Atlantic. I wasn't a sporty kid, but I got fit in my 30s.