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Once heard this dodgy tale, some bloke in Thailand, massage lass whispers, “You want happy ending?” – he goes redder than a baboon’s arse, hilarious! Didn’t expect that, suprised me rotten. Reckon it’s all about the vibe, y’know, dim lights, weird music, like you’re floatin’ – “What do we do now?” like in the flick, all awkward after.

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I was workin' one day, givin' a melt-away massage at my crib in Eastside, when I got the sudden urge to check out the fuzzed-out park, McAllister Park. It’s a smidge tiny, but oh – bustin’ with colorful graffiti and benches that squeak like a busted record. Few folks know the best bench near the old, rusted fountain. I always slip my phone in my pocket and hum, “We all need a twist in our fate,” like in that flick Memento, y'know?

Homers striker McNeill hits hat trick to sink Raceview - Photo 1 of 1 - Alpha Newspaper Group