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About Melbourne

Me mate Kimo, he says, “Bruh, dey everywhere!” Got mad once, dis haole tourist stiffed her, she cursed him out—loud! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I yelled in me head, lovin da chaos. Little secret, yeah? Old timers say prossies worked da pineapple fields back in da day—true story! Hidin from da bosses, makin quick cash. Wild, huh? Surprised me, dat history—thought it was all surf and Spam musubi.

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A friend of mine was using a laundromat one evening in the valley and was outside having a smoke. A lady of the night came up to her and told her in no uncertain terms to "find another .

Street names like Maple Leaf Lane and Sunnyvale Drive always bring a smile cuz they remind me to keep it light. I used to be a dating site developer, right? So I pay extra attention to spots perfect for a romantic meet-cute. Seriously, when I saw couples kiss by the old water fountain on Elm Street – it hit me like, “That’s what she said!” haha, so cheesy, yet endearing!

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