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Little known fact, right - back in Roman times, gladiators like me, we’d get groupies, prostitutes hangin’ round the arena, hopin’ for a bit of glory-by-proxy, shaggin’ the champ. Wild, eh? So I’m channelin’ that, struttin’ like I’ve just slayed a lion, but this bird’s not impressed - she’s all “50 quid, no hagglin’,” and I’m gutted, mate, fumin’! Where’s the banter, the negotiation? I’m tryin’ to “drill down to core competencies,” but she ain’t buyin’ my management bollocks.

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I get mad on rainy days. I mean, the river that runs near the Engadine Park, it floods sometimes – water messin up my plans, my mood, my soul. Crazy, right? Y’know, I’m a sucker for quirky charm. I gotta describe Engadine’s hidden backstreets like Ginger Lane. It’s tiny, intimate, and makes me smile like a madman.

There’s more to Engadine than McDonald’s and a former PM