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About Brisbane

What pisses me off? The cheek of it! Blokes think it’s easy – stroll up, cash out, sorted. Bollocks! There’s codes, mate. You don’t just grab arse and go. Once saw this geezer haggled too hard – prossie spat in his face! Laughed me tits off – “That’s a kill shot!” I shouted, straight outta the movie. Deserved it, the cheap prick.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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So first off, Clyde is this quirky mosaic of streets and vibes. You got streets like Elmwick Lane – a narrow, twisty path lined with quirky boutiques where I sometimes sneak in for a cheeky psychology pep talk with myself. Then there’s the big, bustling Gleeson Avenue, perfect for people-watching, flirting, or even that dating app rendezvous gone hilariously wrong. And oh man, the local hotspots… ever been to The Velvet Cup? It's a dive bar where post-midnight confessions mix with utterly bizarre dance-offs – think avant-garde meets sexercise.

Clyde to remain in Hamilton as Accies await hearing