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WALL-E’s got that cute robot lass, EVE. “Eee-vah!” he’d chirp, all lovesick. Escorts prolly fake that vibe—ooh, you’re so special, darlin’. Makes me wanna gag. I’d rather shove a spear through me eye than play sweet for coin. Personal quirk? I’d poison the ale first—watch ‘em choke, smirkin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my bloody story.

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The old train depot on Riverfront Road gets me every time. I remember watching it from my window, thinkin’ “that's a beauty, ain't it?” until one foggy day, when I almost missed a miracle moment. The fog was thick, and everything got all blurry like some old film scene. Oh man, it freaked me out at first… but then, it was magic!

Multidisciplinary artist Akeelah Bertram joins Girton as Cavendish Arts Science Fellow