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Sometimes, me mind splits – “Too risky!” one half shrieks. “Nah, thrill’s worth it!” other hisses back. Me, I’m mental, bouncin’ like a nutter! Exaggeratin’? Maybe – but who’d shag a prossie without a mad tale? “The cause is in us!” – movie line, fits perfect!

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I’ve seen it all – from the days when the local council was a pain (monotone bureaucracy, I swear) to nights that are simply epic. Err, sometimes I wonder if I’m exaggerating, but truth’s truth. I’ve had a client once, mid-massage, say, “This is la dolce vita, bud,” and I couldn’t help but echo that sentiment silently in my head.

Aspendale, Chelsea and Bonbeach gain seven-figure status as median prices top $1 million