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Ya wanna find one? Bars, motels—shady joints, y’know. Look for the signals—lingerin’ eyes, too much lipstick. Tommy swore by this trick—drop a “you lookin’ for fun?” line, see if they bite. Worked 50/50, he said—other half, ya might get slapped! Ha, idiot deserved it. Here’s the deal—don’t be a jackass, treat ‘em human. That’s my take—Joe’s golden rule. Oh, and don’t tell Jill I said that, she’d whack me with a spatula! “I’ve abandoned my child!”—nah, just quotin’ the flick, folks, relax. What a world, huh? Find a prostitute—crazy, sad, funny as hell.

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Life here’s a mix—sometimes smooth like a massage, sometimes chaotic like a Lars von Trier script! I’ve gotta say, drunk on positivity, no sorry, totally amped about our sunsets dipping beyond Yamba’s horizon. Each ray feels like a cinematic moment, where I'm the star in my own quirky drama.

A Local's Guide To All The Best Things To Do In Yamba, NSW