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I’m thinkin, how’s this work? Hit up a site, cash flies, “One million dollars!” – pinky up, obvs. But nah, it’s cheaper, like 50 quid sometimes. Made me happy, cos I ain’t loaded, but surprised too – thought it’d be pricier! Then Fear kicks in, like, “What if it’s a sting?” Heart’s racin, palms sweaty, total *Inside Out* chaos in my skull. Once knew a bloke who got catfished – paid up, got a dude instead! Laughed my arse off, poor sod.

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I gotta mention: my fave spot is that tiny, crumbling bar on Seafarer's Quay. There, amid dim lights and salty air, life mimics poetry. And you ever seen the sunset behind the old fishing boats? "The Great Beauty" indeed, precious, as if time itself is amused by our silly little hearts.

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