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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! I’m sittin here thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like a goddamn Banderilleros sizin up the bull ring. Life’s a circus, and I’m the ringmaster, baby! Moulin Rouge style, all glitz n’ sin, “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn…”—is where to score some company, right? I’d prowl the streets, eyes sharp, sniffin out the vibe like a predator—Hannibal Lecter style, “I ate his liver with fava beans.” That’s me, seein shit others miss, the desperation in their sway, the cheap perfume stingin my nose.

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So, like, Whittlesea is a quirky mix of old & new. I stroll along Romsey Rd, right past the funky coffee shops where I got my 1st heartache—dang, memories! Then there's St Georges Rd, full of life, bam! You see loads of hidden speakeasies and dating spots. Seriously, its vibes are, like, "Tabu" movie magic— "When you get up, this place is a new world!" It’s as bonkers as a jellyfish party!

Welcoming the City of Whittlesea’s new Councillors