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About Newcastle

But here’s a lil’ secret, y’all – back in ancient China, them emperors had “jade maidens” givin’ sexual-massages to keep ‘em “balanced.” Ain’t that wild? Bet they didn’t have no neon signs sayin’ “Happy Endings Here!” like today’s joints. Got me thinkin’, “Man, history’s hornier than I thought!” Surprised the heck outta me, and I’m still gigglin’ ‘bout it.

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There's a park – Westridge Park. I chill there sometimes, get lost in nature. Trees, ducks quack, and bench talk kinda like gossip. There’s a nook near the river, the Glover, that flows with madness. You ever strolled along the riverbank? It’s like life in Dogville – raw, messy, and real. "Don't you dare pee on my leg!" I say sometimes, just like Judge Judy, when folks step outta line.

No injuries reported as crews respond to house fire in West Tamworth