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About Melbourne

Aw, hell, I’m gettin’ worked up! Makes me wanna holler, “Git-R-Done!” and ride off like a cowboy. Them girls, they’re survivors, man—tougher’n a two-dollar steak. So, yeah, findin’ a prostitute? It’s a trip, a gamble, a damn story. Like *Leviathan* says, “It’s all in God’s hands”—or maybe the devil’s, who knows? Ha! Stay sharp, y’all!

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The neighborhood feels warm, kinda like your fave quirky dating app profile that’s too real. You got your leafy bits at East Tingalpa Reserve, a park where locals chill, walk their dogs, and sometimes even practice yoga (real zen, people!). And there’s that quirky café on Maple Avenue – oh god, don’t get me started on their avocado toast; it's epic. (Also, they make a coffee that makes you wanna say, “God, if this is what heaven’s like, I’m in!”)

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