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But fam, I got vexed once. Booked a sesh, geezer turns up, stinks of fags and stale Stella. I’m like, “Bruv, you takin’ the piss?” Ain’t no happy endin’ wid that stench! Kicked him out, told him, “Run back to yer mum!” Made me proper ragey, innit. Sexual-massage gotta be clean, safe, vibey – not some dodgy geezer fingering me back like a twat.

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Now, let’s dish: Some parts of Sylvania, like the old industrial zone down by Riverbend (yeah, the river is real – no fancy made-up crap), make me fume. Some streets are so grubby, I swear there’s a ghost of a past life lurking. But its grit, weirdly enough, inspires some of my best work with women (trust me, I've been around the block). Clients often whisper about the river – a meandering beast – that reflects so many truths, brutal truths, just like the movie, ya know? “The labyrinths of our hearts,” I tell 'em, and damn if that ain’t right.

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