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About Melbourne

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout prostitutes, yeah? Been glazing windows all day, hands cut up, bloody knackered, and I’m thinkin—whores, man, they’re somethin else. Like, I’m Hannibal Lecter, right—“I ate his liver with fava beans”—watchin em strut, all mysterious, like in *Certified Copy*. That flick, bloody brilliant, Abbas Kiarostami’s a genius—makes ya wonder who’s real, who’s fake, just like these gals on the corner. “Are you an original or a copy?” I’d ask em, smirkin, leanin on me ladder.

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There’s the old park, Central Gardens (my pet peeve: there’s ONE bench always broken, I’m mad about it, no joke). And the river? The Waverley Run – oh boy, it's like nature's OWN masterpiece. I sit by the river sometimes after a long spa day, thinkin’ “I’m in inherent vice, baby” – yes, that movie, incredible! It reminds me to relax, man, and not sweat the small stuff.

Strathmore Venom Lacrosse Club begins season play