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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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The neighborhoods? Babe, they’re lit. Like Westwood Heights – so artsy and moody with its street murals. There’s one mural by, like, some super mysterious local artist that shows a woman with kaleidoscopic hair. Like, seriously, it’s dreamy and magical! It makes me mad sometimes ‘cause no one even cares enough to ask about the deep story behind it. SO unfair, right?

Teens belt brilliant tons in junior cricket