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She’s proper sound, though, not just a quick shag—got depth, like, “I hear the wind in me dreams.” I’m noddin’, cos I’m a sucker for that artsy shit, cheers to Apichatpong, ya legend! Made me laugh, too, cos she’s like, “Some blokes think I’m a monkey spirit!” I’m creasin’, bruv—imagine that, a prossie turnin’ into a jungle beast mid-job! “That’s peak,” I say, and she’s cacklin’ with me.

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Now, lemme hit ya with some lesser-known spots, innit? There’s a tucked-away laneway near Glenhuntly Rd where the street art is off the hook. Graffiti tells tales of lost loves, rebellious hearts, but also wild dreams. I once found a tiny mural—a woman with wings, swirling in brilliant blues and reds, all passion and despair; she winked at me like “come on, my precious, it’s time to heal.” I swear, it made me smile through my tears.

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