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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ morons! I’m Eric Cartman, dispatcher extraordinaire, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout prostitutes, respect my authoritah! So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this chick, right, sellin’ her goods on the street, and it’s like *Inception*—ya know, that mind-bendin’ flick I’m obsessed with. “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darlin’!”—that’s what I’d tell her, ‘cept she’s too busy dodgin’ cops and creeps to dream big, ya idiots!

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Now, as a relaxation specialist, I gotta point out how every corner of Springvale-South makes you wanna just breathe out your worries. I mean, when you hit Sunset Plaza near Riverbend Road, the breeze is so damn calming, it almost reminds me of that surreal cosmic vibe in "Melancholia" when everything feels both beautiful and doomed. Yeah, it’s deep, man. Every time I take a stroll, I’m feelin’ like, “Say hello to my little friend!”—bringing out that inner Tony Montana, you know what I mean?

Man rescued in Springvale house fire