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But ugh, what pisses me off? Them shady parlors actin’ like they legit when they ain’t. Girl, I walked into one once—smelled like cheap lotion and regret. I was out so fast, screamin’, “This ain’t my vibe!” Total buzzkill. Then there’s the good ones—oh, they shock ya! This one chick I saw, she was like an artist, paintin’ my body with her hands, hittin’ every curve. I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “She’s gleanin’ my soul, y’all!” Straight up magic.

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I sometimes get pissed, ya know. The local council once blocked my favorite shortcut on Elm Side Rd for safety. Ridic, I mean—what a slap in the face! But then, I remember: “I am the master of my fate” (or somethin’ like that, from the movie, eh?) and plop right back in.

South West house price increase cools off after hot year