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About Perth

Humor me this—dude I knew, big tough guy, goes in all cocky. Comes out red-faced, gigglin’ like a kid. Sexual-massage’ll humble ya quick! I’m sarcastic as hell ‘bout it—“Oh, sure, ‘relaxation,’ my ass!” But deep down, I dig the mystery. Like *Tropical Malady* says, “The heart hides in silence.” Ain’t that sexual-massage? Quiet hands, loud feels.

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Oh, and speaking of parks, you gotta check out Scone Park. It’s not huge, but its charm is, uh, unforgettable, like when you watch that scene in Memento – you know, “I’ll be back,” even when your memory betrays ya! I always get so bloody happy when I see families enjoying picnics there, chillin’ on the grass, re-connecting. Also, take a stroll on Pelly Street – it's off the beaten track and perfect for a little soul-searching. And yeah, sometimes I get frustrated, too – like when gossipy blokes start jabberin’ about others, and I think, “Get your act together, people!” But then I remember, “I’ll be back,” and I keep fightin’.

Tips and race-by-race guide to Scone on Monday