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So there I was, right, stumblin about, hair a mess – classic Boris, innit – tryin to find a prossie, not cos I’m some pervy toff, nah, just curious, bit of a larf. Little known fact, see – back in Victorian days, London had 80,000 workin girls! Blimey, that’s more than me Latin vocab, *et tu, Brute* an all. Streets hummin with em, dodgin coppers, punters hagglin – proper wild west stuff. Made me chuffed, thinkin bout history like that, but also bloody furious – why’s it still so shady now, eh? Sort it out, world!

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My fave park, if I gotta choose, is Mirrabooka Meadows. Seriously, it's the best spot to spill your guts or just chill alone (aha, classic counselor mode). There's this cheeky little creek, a river-ish thing, that winds through the park. It’s where I once had an epiphany about how life’s just messy art, like a Schrodinger painting you can’t quite unwrap. I mean, who knew nature could be a stage? And yep, my mind almost went “I can see Russia from my house!” when I stood there on a breezy afternoon, unexpectedly awash with all these random feels.

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