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About Melbourne
Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.
Archer Magazine
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The locals are friendly, but sometimes I get mad with all the constant hustle when my spa’s booked out. I mean, how many times have I had to dodge endless chitchat on Ebdale Rd? But hey, it's chill in its own way—sorta like some dark, gritty dialogue from The Turin Horse: “No escape, only truth,” rarrgh! But not as depressing, lol.
Teenage boy treated for burns after house fire in Melbourne's south-west
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