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Here’s the kicker—did ya know Victorian blokes paid top dollar for “therapeutic” rubs? Dodgy sods masked it as medicine—genius! I’m sat there, thinkin’, “This is me empowerment arc!”—like Solomon risin’ up, but with a towel and a dodgy playlist. “You’re free!”—well, free ‘til the bill hits, £80 down the drain, ouch!

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I get pissed off sometimes though, especially when the council messes up the old landmarks. A few times, I nearly lost it seeing our heritage graffiti wiped off near Cedar Lane, man. That relic, those scribbles, they mean the world to us. Not even a single kick from Inception's spinning top could calm that storm.

Grim pic proof Sydney is beyond repair