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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

The 'boyfriend experience' a drawcard

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Right off, there's Manly Beach. Wow, man, it’s rad. The golden sand stinks of salt and surf, and the waves crash like nature’s own drum solo. You can wander down The Corso, a busy street filled with quirky shops, cafés, and that old-school vibe. I’ve seen folks from all around, and sometimes I catch a glimpse of a wandering trippy soul, just like in that flick, y’know?

Sea Eagles soaring to record memberships