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So I’m thinkin, “Sharon! This shit’s mental!” – coz it’s rare as fuck, only us animal docs get our mitts on it. Little known fact, yeah? They used it on rhinos once, in Africa, and this one bloke – total nutter – tried nickin some for a high. Ended up flatlined, coz it’s that lethal, innit! Made me proper angry, that – idiots messin with stuff they don’t get. But when it works right, oh mate, I’m chuffed to bits – horse calms down, no stress, just peace.

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I gotta mention Old Wharf Road – it’s less travelled, a secret slice of paradise where art shows pop up unannounced and the river slinks by, murmuring old ballads. There’s myths of buried treasure beneath the cobbles, a tale me granny told me when I was a wee lad (aye, I may have swored a bit much back then, hehe). And speaking of swearing, oh, the mischief of it all – sometimes I get mad, real mad, when the modern hullaballoo disrupts the archaic charm – but by and by, it lifts me spirits, bringin’ a grin on me face.

Audi and Hyundai crash in village high street