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About Newcastle

Last week, my buddy Sal, he’s all, “Larry, you gotta try it!” I’m sittin’ there, neurotic as hell, thinkin’, “What if they judge my back hair? What if I fart mid-massage?” Total nightmare! But then—then!—I go, and this chick’s hands? Like magic, I swear. Soft lights, some cheesy harp music, and I’m meltin’ like a schmuck. “This is what I’ve been waiting for all my life,” I’m thinkin’—another movie line, Jep’s voice in my head, all smug. Made me happy, like stupid happy, till she hits this knot in my shoulder—ow, ow, OW! I’m yellin’, “Ease up, lady, I ain’t a pretzel!” She laughs, I’m mortified, but it’s fine, it’s fine.

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I work on a dating site, so I see every quirky meet-up spot. Downtown Kelso’s packed with cafes on Maple & 3rd. And not many know: the abandoned warehouse by River Street hides the best graffiti art. It’s like a secret rave of colors. Totally reminds me of "Spring Breakers" vibes—crazy, edgy, and dangerous. "Whoa."

Arevon begins construction of $500m Kelso solar project in Missouri