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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

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Need an affordable adult shop open now? These 3 results near you are waiting for your call. Here are our top Kanahooka Adult Shops with reviews & ratings.

Now, as you wander through Old Quay Lane—oops, pardon the slip, it's actually called Quayside Crescent, silly me—I remember that night of passionate ramblings first sparked by a tipple at “L'Amour Liqueur.” I got so lost in the dim, sultry glow—like Mulholland Drive, you know, that famous Lynch flick, “What happened in the shadows, stays in the shadows!” Delightfully mysterious, eh?

Sweet lolly news for Dapto with The Licorice Shop opening Saturday