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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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I gotta mention my fave local hangout – “The Heartbeat Hub” on Central Ave. It's where I develop quirky dating profiles. I see people every day, each with their wild stories and passion. It’s inspiring, thrilling – like hearing Moolaadé’s bold challenges: "We’re not cowards. We fight for our hope!"

Coalition double down on investment in Jordan Springs students