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About Wollongong

I got pissed, tho, last week—some chick tried scammin’ me! Said she’s “top tier,” wanted cash upfront, then poof—gone like WALL-E’s trash piles in the wind. Fuckin’ ghosted me! Had me yellin’, “In this world, a man’s gotta have balls!”—straight up Tony vibes, ya feel? But then, I found this one spot, lil’ hidden gem, down by the docks. Word is, there’s this gal, been workin’ it since the ‘90s, knows every trick—calls herself “Eve” like that sleek bot from the flick. Ain’t that a trip? Made me laugh, thinkin’ she’s out there savin’ my lonely ass like WALL-E tryna save Earth.

Things to do

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Stroll down Kensington Ave – it's magic. You see little cafes, quirky shops, and that famous art on bricks – totally YUGE experience. Trust me, folks say, “Anyone can cook, but can you relax?” Like in Ratatouille, "Not everyone can become a great artist," but here, we’re the best relaxers, folks, no kidding.

BMW driver dies in horror crash in inner Brisbane suburb of Highgate Hill