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About Melbourne

Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor, I reckon it’s a right corker, bit of a saucy lark. Picture this, yeah, me lumbering self, Boris, pondering the ol’ rub-down, like some bleedin’ Roman senator getting a *massage eroticus*! Saw this dodgy parlour once in Soho, all neon lights, made me chuckle – *cave felis*, beware the cat, I thought! Proper cheeky stuff, innit?

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First off, there’s Dock Street near the old pier, where the river splits and flows like some sad metaphor. I strolled along there many a lazy day, just watching the water do its thing, and damn it, it always makes me think of that line in Melancholia – "The world is a dark and ruinous place." Funny, huh?

Hannah Hampton ahead of Mary Earps in England goalkeeper battle for Women's Euros