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But gods, the stench—sweat, ale, desperation—makes me wanna hurl. Pissed me off last week, saw her wink at Jaime—my Jaime! Wanted to claw her eyes out, “I choose violence,” screamed it in my head. She’d probs laugh, “Your brother’s prick’s mine, love.” Cheeky slag. Still, gotta hand it to her, survivin’ this shithole—takes guts. Happiest I felt was hearin’ she kneed some drunkard’s balls into his throat—priceless!

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A FORMER MP who spent $, on sex with prostitutes has been found guilty of sex crimes against a year-old. The former Glenorchy Mayor.

up near the river, there's the Derwent flumin—i mean river—where you get that rush of natural magic in every sunset. i’d sit there sometimes, reflecting on human connections (yep, my sexologist side gets deep there, too), while the world’s spinnin’ like a record. and oh! don't even get me started on the riverside park – beautiful, hidden spots perfect for a quiet chat, or, err, a cheeky smooch in the twilight.

Former alderman Peter Ridler wins Glenorchy Council recount