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Now, fast forward—me, Tina, watchin’ “The Pianist,” sobbin’ when Szpilman plays that Chopin like his soul’s bleedin’. “What is it? What’s the matter?” his sister asks, and I’m yellin’ at the screen, “Life’s a whore, that’s what!” ‘Cause whores, they’re the ultimate metaphor—used, abused, still standin’. I’m typin’ this so fast, prolly fucked up “metaphor” back there—meh, who cares? You get it. They’re scrappy, like Szpilman hidin’ in rubble. Love that grit, makes me happy—tough bitches win.

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Street names like Maple Leaf Lane and Sunnyvale Drive always bring a smile cuz they remind me to keep it light. I used to be a dating site developer, right? So I pay extra attention to spots perfect for a romantic meet-cute. Seriously, when I saw couples kiss by the old water fountain on Elm Street – it hit me like, “That’s what she said!” haha, so cheesy, yet endearing!

Generous locals raise more than $17k to help family of fatal crash victim with funeral costs