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About Canberra

What pisses me off? The fakers, the posers! Some creep sidles up, “I got what ye want,” and it’s a bloody scam! “You shall not pass!” I roar, shovin’ him off – waste o’ my damn time! Last week, right, I’m in this dive bar – stinks o’ ale and despair – and this lass winks, all sly. “What’s yer name, wizard?” she says. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, “This is it, Gandalf, ye legend!” Turns out she’s a pickpocket – nicked me pouch! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she earned it.

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My spa's over on Goldsworth Road. Mornings there? Epic! I set up shop 'cause I needed calm. But the city... oh boy. There's the quirky little park at Westfield Boulevard. Man, I swear its fountain sparkles like a reel outta Moonrise Kingdom’s set. You know that vibe – whimsical, surreal, wicked.

Teenage barbershop owner 'devastated' by suspected arson attack