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About Perth

Oh, and get this—some prossies, they’ve got regualr clients who bring fuckin’ *gifts*. Flowers, choccie, weird shit like that. One bird told me she got a toaster once! A toaster! What’s she gonna do, shag him and make toast? Cracked me up, that did—mental image of her pluggin’ it in mid-job. “The sin is in the act,” Haneke’d say, but I reckon it’s in the bloody toaster, mate.

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Now, parks – oh, let me get properly off on parks. There's the lush, often overlooked Elsternwick Park. Not as fancy as those manicured city gardens, but plenty quirky corners for a good heart-to-heart with nature (or to rant about people’s rubbish parenting, ya know what I mean). And then there’s the waterfront along the bay – small but perfect for a moody afternoon walk. I can almost hear the salty breeze whispering, “Every story has its quirks, mate.”

Melb home’s rooftop has golf green, driving range