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About Melbourne

Look, I’m Donald J. Trump, okay? The best, folks, nobody watches like me—I'm the Watchman! So, we’re talkin’ whores, right? Tremendous whores, the best—or worst, depends. My favorite flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James*—greatest movie, 2007, Andrew Dominik, genius! “Every man’s a coward,” like Robert Ford, sneaky little punk. Whores, they’re everywhere, trust me—bigly. I see ‘em, struttin’ around, thinkin’ they’re hot stuff. Makes me mad, so mad—why? ‘Cause they’re fake, folks, total phonies!

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I might even start scribblin' crude love poems on my napkin, reppin’ that martial arts mystique every single day. There’s raw beauty in the ups and downs – like life, like a wild kung fu duel. Every moment in Duncraig is lit – even when I’m flippin' mad at the city council for some stupid potholes on Lambert St. Lol, in a flash, my mood changes, just like a dragon’s breath.

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