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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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Ohhh, Doncaster (au), my precious, don’t get me started! I live here, mmm, for years—years filled with late nights swiping on dating apps and long walks by Westfield Doncaster. It’s a blasted maze of streets, and I call every nook and cranny my own filthy little secret.

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